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Peter, Peggy And Potty
Pollard!
UK Magazine
1987
It was the marriage that
seemed destined to hit the rocks - daffy Su and
quiet Peter. The snipers said it couldn't
possibly last. But it has. Three years on they're
still together, still smiling and still very much
in love. And they've got great plans for the
future.
Five minutes was all anyone
gave it, and they weren't talking about boiling
eggs. Even as show business marriages go, this
one seemed weighted with concrete, and all ready
for the divorce lawyers to get rich on. The
celebrity and the primary school teacher - it
didn't seem like much of a match, more like a
walkover. Su Pollard, mad Peggy of Hi-De-Hi! Daft,
daffy, gorgeous, loveable Su and...Peter Keogh.
Peter who? Ten weeks they'd known each other and
then they were married.
Everyone laughed. Then the
troubles started and they were living with the
curtains drawn, the draw bridge up.
It wasn't much of a start to a
marriage, hiding from the newsmen and reporters,
but a very good beginning for a divorce, with him
standing in the dock, his past raked over in a
daily dose of headlines, while she looked pale
and exhausted, as though she were about to break
into a thousand pieces.
And then it was over. He was in
the clear, his gay past was out in the open and
no longer news, but what lay ahead?
They cuddled and slimed and
went home to open the curtains and lower the
drawbridge, while everyone waited for the split.
And they're still waiting - two weeks ago, on
April 22, they celebrated their third "impossible"
wedding anniversary.
Not long back from a seven week
holiday, which included a spell in Bali, the
"unhappy" couple were clearly getting
on as "badly" as ever, chatting,
laughing, smiling, teasing and touching. Although,
to be absolutely truthful, she was doing the
talking, while he was waiting for her to draw
breath and get a couple of words in, before she
rattled off again.
We all know Su and we all know
what she's like as Peggy. And, let's face it, it's
hard to spot the difference. They both talk an
awful lot, and they're both overflowing with
energy and enthusiasm. But we don't know, and we
don't see, what she's like when she's with Peter,
nor what he's like and how their marriage ticks.
So much has been said about him
without his ever saying a word, you can't help
but wonder what to expect. And then when you do
see them together, you wonder just who all these
stories were about. He's tall, broad and good
looking and, most obvious of all, deeply in love
with our Su. As she chatters on, leap frogging
from one subject to another, changing
conversation faster than Peggy causes chaos, he
looks at her with complete warmth and affection.
And she's fiercely protective
of him. "Please try to leave the past and
all that stuff about the trial out of it,"
she says. And you want to for her sake - for both
of them - because they're such a happy, lively
couple. But you can't because what happened in
those tough, early days of their marriage had
such a profound effect on their relationship.
"Three years, can you
believe it?" asks Peter, smiling. "It
was the marriage that nobody gave a chance, and I
admit that I had my doubts, too, yet we couldn't
be happier. After all, we'd only known each other
for a few weeks. I was 39 and Su was 34, and
after being independent for so long, both of us
had to learn to share.
"When all that business
happened with me in court," he says,
referring to when he was charged with - and
cleared of - stealing £4200 to pay for a
boyfriend's holiday, "it put our
relationship under a lot of pressure. Afterwards
I think we both felt that as we'd got through
that we could handle anything life threw at us."
Perhaps the most surprising
aspect of the whole affair was that instead of
the publicity wrecking her career, as many had
expected, Su included, the upshot was the exact
opposite.
"The demand for her
services doing personal appearances, advertising,
in fact, almost anything - increased dramatically.
There was a very obvious and sudden change,"
Peter recalls.
Su still finds the support she
received from her fans, and the general public,
touching. Suddenly she was more than just potty
Peggy, the chalet maid. And from such an awkward
start, marriage too, became easier and more
comfortable. Their recent seven week break was
the longest time they've spent together - what
with Peter working in school and her touring and
travelling.
"I suppose we were just
like any couple spending a lot of time together.
We had our disagreements. It was quite hard to
adjust at times, but it was lovely having the
time together, just being able to relax," Su
recalls, with all the wriggling, jiggling and
frantic mannerisms that make her both so
appealing yet so exhausting. Quite simply, there's
never a pause or quiet moment when she's around.
She's dressed in her usual
chaotic ensemble. Mismatched earrings, a skirt
which she keeps hitching up to the top of her
thigh to show off her mosquito bites, shoes
colour co-ordinated to absolutely nothing, bright
yellow rimmed glasses, and her only recent
concession to convention, matching socks worn
outside her tights rather than the clashing
colours she used to go in for.
It's how you expect Su to dress
- or even Peggy if she got it together to wear
anything apart from her uniform. Peggy, dear
Peggy, Su looks sad at the mention of her name.
Sad because soon, Peggy will be no more. After
this autumn's filming of Hi-De-Hi!, there'll be
no more Maplins, no more holiday camp capers.
Even though she's had people
shrieking "Hi-De-Hi" at her from Perth
to Miami, Los Angeles to Scunthorpe, and even
though she groans when people shout it at her in
streets, shops and restaurants, she sounds gloomy
when she talks of the show's demise.
"It's such a shame, I've
adored everything about the programme," she
says. "the safety of working with people you
know, Peggy herself and, of course, knowing that
whatever happens you still have that contract.
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"But
I think it's right to go out at the top. You can't
have Peggy cleaning chalets when she's 60 and
Gladys still trying to chat up the men. I'll be
sad when it's over because Peggy changed my life.
In the first episode I only had 10 lines. I was
so nervous, I'll always remember them" - and
to prove her point she goes on to recite every
word of those 10 lines. "I
didn't become like Peggy, you know, I made Peggy
into me. The scriptwriters used to listen to us
chatting in the canteen and slip something they'd
heard you say into the next series.
"I'll always be typecast
as Peggy because I talk like her, I look like her
and I'm half like her anyway. I think that
whatever you do, you'll always be known for one
particular role and there's nothing wrong with
being remembered for someone who was really liked.
I'd sooner be known for Peggy than unknown."
This is going to be a year of
change for Su, and a time of upheavel for Peter.
She's trying to build up a reputation for her one
woman show - doing a bit of dancing, a bit of
singing, and a bit of this and that - while Peter,
after a year of supply teaching in different
schools, is going back into full time work in a
Roman Catholic primary school.
He might only earn in a year
what she can pick up in a week, but he's clearly
happy to be returning to full time employment.
"I was helping Su a lot,
and I got very involved in her career, too
involved in fact. I was getting very tense and
uptight about it. I didn't realise it at the time,
but it put a lot of pressure on our marriage
because all we ever talked about was work. In bed,
in the kitchen, the conversation was always work.
It certainly doesn't do anything for the
relationship if in the end everything is just
business."
Su nods in agreement. "In
the end you stop talking about one another. Your
feelings towards each other, everything, are
based around work." It was a mistake but,
fortunately, not a disaster, and certainly
something they have no intention of repeating.
So she'll keep appearing in
front of millions and he'll be in front of 20
children.
"I feel very good about
going back to teaching," he says, "because
the way things were going I was in danger of
losing my identity, just being in Su's shadow. I
have to have my own career. It doesn't matter
that it's low key compared with hers.
Schoolteacher or window cleaner, it makes no
difference, I learnt that I could never be Mr
Pollard or Mr Manager.
"It's quite strange, and
rather disconcerting, when you discover that
people are only being nice to you in the hope of
getting through to Su. Well, now I'm out of it
and back teaching and I'm very happy to be Peter
Keogh again."
And just by the enthusiasm he
has for being back in the classroom, you can tell
he won't miss hanging around backstage one bit.
The only part of teaching he
doesn't enjoy is games, particularly football.
"Can't stand it," he says. And Su, who's
gulping down her third cup of tea in half an hour,
laughs at the thought of her husband on the
sports field. "Can you imagine him in shorts
chasing after a football?"
As a matter of fact, yes I can.
Whatever his past, there's nothing remotely limp
wristed about Peter. But football, he underlines
with a firm voice, is not for him. Neither is the
idea of having children. "I get quite enough
of children at school. I like them very much but
I don't need them at home."
Su, who begins by saying that
she doesn't really want them either, softens when
pressed. "I'm getting a little old for it,"
she says pointing out that she's 37. "If it
happens then great, but at the moment I'm busy
with my career. I don't think that I could keep
my career going and have children. I've seen some
people do it, bringing their children on set,
they do it brilliantly, but I think that's a
miserable place to bring children up.
"But then I never wanted a
cat. Yet now we've got one, I wouldn't be without
it. She's completely neurotic, just like the rest
of the family. So, who knows, perhaps it would be
nice to have children..."
Peter shakes his head and gazes
at the ceiling while quickly chipping in that it's
not a good idea atall and, anyway, there are all
those things she still wants to do.
"Yes, dear, but I think I'd
be a very good mother and I do love children..."
and Su's voice trails off as she considers the
prospect.
Her face, which is already
feminine and friendly, and warmed still further
by her tan, softens a little more. "I think
I'd like to have children. It would be nice, but
not yet, we're not ready."
Although Peter will never be
ready if he can help it, you get the feeling that
if it's what Su wants, then it's what he'll want,
too.
A couple of teenage girls tap
on the window and shout "Hi-De-Hi!" and
Su waves back and mutters "Hi-De-bloody-Hi!"
under her breath. One more series, but how many
years of having the world thinking of her as
Peggy?
As for what she might do apart
from her one woman show, the future's a bit vague.
She says she'd like to appear in a musical like
South Pacific.
"I always want to play
someone who has fun," she says, jiggling
some more, hitching up her skirt and pouring
another cup of tea at the same time. "I don't
think that I could play someone like Alexis
because I don't think it's fun clawing someone's
eyes out and ripping everyone to shreds. That's
not me. And if I was going to be Hilda Ogden then
she'd have a new wardrobe immediately. I'd not
wear those clothes!"
Su, as Hilda or Peggy in a soap,
what fun! She could save Crossroads single-handed.
It's not going to be the easiest of years for her,
trying to make her way on the cabaret circuit
with her one woman show, trying to prove there is
life after Hi-De-Hi! and Peggy. But with Peter
back at school, at least there's one thing she
can be sure of, one piece of consistency in her
life, and that's her "five minute"
marriage!
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